If Love Is a Language, Tell the Truth

There is a reason for everything we do. Every reason has meaning. Therefore, everything we do has meaning. Actions communicate just as effectively, if not moreso, than words, and dishonesty through actions is more common than you think.

If an action does not align with its meaning, then it’s a lie.

If this applies to every action, what about a kiss? What about a leap further, sexual activity? Everything in between?

How is a meaning determined? Sherlock would likely answer deduction, my English rhetoric teacher would probably answer induction, and Professor Trelawny would say to look into the beyond. Let’s just take this step by step.

First, let’s see how meaning works.

Meaning is something that lasts apart from the engagement in the activity, where pleasure only occurs during the actions. While something may be fun, fun is not the meaning or root of a thing. Even if it was, I personally want a love where a kiss means more than an exchange of pleasure, but rather a deep reflection of love from a person who is putting me first as I put them first.

Second, look at what the action is, of what it consists.

Affection and intimacy between a man and a woman has a meaning of giving, sharing, and unifying. Sexual intercourse is a giving of the entire self, you are baring it all and no other action can bring you closer to another person in that way.

Lastly, look at what the action is expressing.

In such intimacy between a couple, your actions are communicating a promise of full self-giving. If you don’t intend that, but you are acting in this way, then your intentions and actions are in conflict; essentially you’re being dishonest. You don’t need to be told that dishonesty is a dangerous thing to have between two people in a relationship.

Under what circumstances can you give your whole self to another person? What are you willing to risk?

Communication builds trust and respect between couples, enabling them to support each other well and avoid and work out conflict. It is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Even among those who are not looking for or don’t find themselves in relationships, communication is key to establishing a strong friendship.

Developing standards for conduct you will have towards others and will accept from others in how they treat you is a beneficial way to understand what your intentions are and should be. When you are around other individuals you can see how your actions align with your ideal self. Many of us have that friend who we wish knew what he or she wanted in a significant other, and we watched them get their heart broken because they insisted on throwing themselves at the wrong people. Their lack of connection between meaning of their actions and intent and desires were a jumbled mess, and they got hurt.

Communication isn’t a net that ties you down, but rather a shield that you hold that guards your heart. I’m all about a healthy heart.

Overall, all actions are reflections of deeper meanings; if the circumstances are premature, participating in the action is essentially lying.

 

In what areas do you think actions and meaning need to line up? Do you agree that actions are like a language? Let us know what you think in the comments below.

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